[00:00.1]
Good. Okay. Welcome, beautiful Sanaya, to the Abundance Club. I'm excited about this conversation because it's going to be all about love. And who doesn't love talking about love, particularly with a, love coach and a love alchemist.
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Welcome, beauty. Thank you for being here. Thank you, Amy. I am really, looking forward to this conversation because, you know, obviously I love what talking about love, and you love talking about abundance. So together, I'm sure it's going to be very interesting. Yeah, absolutely.
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So let's, let's start. You, you call yourself a love alchemist. And I love this. Whenever I think about alchemy, I think about turning lead into gold. And I love that this as well, because it just speaks so beautifully to this deeper truth that love isn't something we chase despite what we might think.
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And I think quite often we do that and it's something that we, we become, we return back to. And so I know your work isn't just about helping people find love, but about really guiding people back into alignment with themselves so that every relationship then becomes a reflection of that inner wholeness.
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So to begin with, I'd love to start with maybe a little bit about your story or about what was the moment that you realized that this work for you, this real work, was about guiding people who home to love. Like, was there a specific experience or awakening that really called you into this path?
[01:31.5]
You know, it's such a, such a great question, Amy, because I didn't intend to get into this work. I didn't get intend to get into this path. It really just happened, you know, very naturally. And love in particular, it was something that I've struggled with for a big part of my own life.
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And, after I worked through it, I attracted my soulmate. You know, everything changed in my life. I started attracting people who had the very same issues that I did. And I realized, oh, well, this is something that I've done, I've overcome.
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And before I knew it, I was, you know, working with a lot of women who were single, who were single, struggling with love. And as we work through things, they would then start attracting partners. They would get married, they would get engaged, they'd come back to me, and I was like, oh, that's not what I meant to do.
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I meant to help with, help them with whatever else was going on in their life. But then love would just show up at the end of our work together. And that is how I discovered that, you know, what I do helps women actually attract love into their life. I, usually work with other issues in their life that they come to me with.
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And love happens to be something that is like kind of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that neither of us expected. And then that's what happened. And from there, Amy, I realized that this is something that I personally love to do because it's so close to my own journey, so close to my own heart that, you know, now I intentionally work with women to help them find love first within themselves and then in their environment and finally with the right partner for them.
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I love the way and I speak to so many different people, and it just seems to be so universal. And it's such a confirmation of how we are prepared through life, how we are schooled through our own experiences, how we become the coach that we needed. Right?
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We become our best client. And I love the way that that's mapped out for you. So you spoke about loving yourself first. I think this is a really big thing. And, we hear this spoken about a lot, like, you know, you just need to love yourself. And a lot of people can say, well, that seems like a great concept.
[03:48.4]
Like, what does that actually mean? And we know that it's more than just running yourself a nice bubble bath or, you know, taking yourself out for a facial. What does this actually mean? Like, how you speak about making love. Our power. So can you share, like, what it truly means to embody love as a source of personal power and how we can begin to do that in our own lives?
[04:12.9]
Yeah, great question. So I have a story about how I discovered what love is, what self love is. I had a completely different understanding of self love. For me, it was like, you know, giving myself self care, paying attention to myself, which are all valid things, and they're very important parts of self love.
[04:31.7]
But I think what really opened up my mind is when I was on a. I was on a long flight between, I think at that time I was either flying from Dubai, I want to say, and I was traveling over to the US and it was one of those overnight flights, and I'd had a really busy week before that.
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So here I am on the flight. I'm like, okay, no kids, you know, no distractions, no phones, nothing. I'm going to pull out the book that I've been trying to read for the last, like, month, and I never get a chance to do that. But here I am on a flight, there's no one to distract me.
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I'm gonna get a glass of wine, and I'm gonna start Reading this book. And, that's exactly what I did. I snuggled in, reading a book, drinking my glass of wine. And very soon after, my eyes start to drop, right? I'm, like, so tired.
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I'm so sleepy, you know, like, I was just fighting it. I wanted to go to sleep, but I wanted to finish the book. And I was determined that this was the quiet time, that, that I needed to finish this book. And there I was fighting against what my body needed, what my body wanted.
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Just because my brain was like, I'm going to finish this book. I ended up falling asleep. Of course, the glass of wine must have, you know, overruled my very good intentions to finish this book. But when I woke up, right, Amy, I was, you know, I was high, high in the sky, fly, flying, you know, to this destination.
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And at the same time, I was kind of like looking up, looking down actually at my own life. And I realized that that was the story of my life. I was always fighting my natural instinct, my natural desire, what my body wanted.
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And that was the moment it just kind of like clicked into place for me that that's what self love is. It's giving yourself what you need when you need it. Not tomorrow, not after you serve somebody else, not next week, and definitely not when you have the time.
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It's being able to tune in and to give yourself exactly what you need to respond to yourself. That became kind of my understanding of self love going forward. Because I think that is the biggest way we betray ourselves every single day is by going against what we need in that moment.
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And that might look like, you know, just quiet time. That might look like going to bed early. That might look like saying no. You know, even though you say yes. It can show up in many different ways.
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But I think we abandon our needs, our wants, our, our asks over and over again. And when we do that, we betray ourselves and we teach ourselves that we can't trust our own selves, right?
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Because if I'm not going to give myself what I need, then how am I going to trust I'm going to do that tomorrow or next week or when I really, really am counting on myself? So to me, self love is being able to respond to yourself and your needs when they arise.
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I, love that, and I so agree with that. And then I can also feel the protests that would come up around that, which might sound, and I'm sure you know, all of them, which might sound like it's selfish to just think about yourself and focus on yourself.
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Or I have Children that need this, or I've got a mother that I need to do this for, or I've got this to do list, and this and this and this. So, you can feel the protest that can come up because we haven't been taught how to prioritize ourselves in that way.
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And that that's actually a sacred act of rebellion that then extends into all the different aspects of our life, which I'm sure you'd find as well. When you do look after yourself that way, when you do tend to yourself in that way, the way that opportunities open up and new relationships can find you and all of those things, do we navigate through the protests that come up and the ways that we have just instinctively conditioned ourselves to be the one who does this?
[08:55.1]
Like. Like it's a badge of honor. Like, this is my identity. I do this for the. And I'm just thinking of the people that I know that would struggle to put themselves first in that way. Yeah. You know, I think somewhere in our history, we went wrong, and we started to tell ourselves the story that the more you think about everybody else, the more, you know, the.
[09:21.5]
The better a person you are, you know, as if that was the badge of honor to constantly, you know, sacrifice yourself or suffer in silence. And I know that is something my mother carried. I know it's something I've seen a lot of other women carry.
[09:36.6]
Like, if I can, you know, do everything possible for the people around me, then finally I'm a good wife, I'm a good daughter, I'm a good mother, I'm worthy. Our entire worthiness is defined by what we do for other people. Meanwhile, we are the empty cup, right?
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And I've seen this over and over again. Amy, I'm sure you've, encountered this as well, is that women, more than anyone else, get depleted, exhausted, resentful, anxious, depressed. You know, I see this happen over and over again, and it's really because they've neglected themselves in serving everybody else.
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And that is why we need to kind of make that shift in our own understanding right now. Because 20 years are going to pass, 30 years are going to pack it pass. And you're going to look back and be like, when did I ever prioritize myself? You know, when.
[10:34.1]
When did I ever make it about me? And now it's too late now. I, you know, my. My dreams are withered, have died. You know, everything is, is gone. There's nothing, nothing left at this point. And, you know, you look back and reflect and you wonder.
[10:51.7]
You Know where you got lost? Not only that, I'm seeing more and more women in their late 40s and the early 50s female feeling like they've done everything right. You know, they've taken care of their children, they've been a good wife, they've taken care of the house. And they don't feel satisfied, they don't feel fulfilled, they don't feel like they have anything, that they can look back at and feel really good about.
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It's a very, like, superficial. Like, I did all the right things. I did everything I was supposed to, but did I really do anything for me? Well, that. That part got forgotten somewhere along the way. So I think that, you know, as we become more and more aware of how important it is for us to be happy, for ourselves, to be in the state of love and peace and alignment and fulfillment, and the more we are, the better we are for the people around us.
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The more we can give, the more we can pour into other people. And it shows up in, again, tiny little things. Like, I noticed that when I neglect myself, when I, you know, haven't given myself what I need, I snap more at the people around me.
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You know, I might raise my voice at the kids. I have a shorter fuse. You know, I'm more impatient. But when I feel nurtured, when I feel like, okay, I got a good night's rest, I took care of me, I gave myself what I needed, I. I show up so much more lovingly for everyone else in my life.
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And as I started to become aware of that, you know, I realized that giving ourselves love has to be where it starts. Yeah. And only when we have. When we are full of love ourselves, can we then pour that out into the world around us.
[12:41.2]
Whether that's the people we love, whether that's the career, the purpose, you know, whatever we choose, to do in our lives, how we show up, how we express ourselves and what we do with our time, it's so important, you know, and as you're talking, I'm thinking, you know, this.
[12:57.3]
This sets the tone for the way that we expect then, life to show up for us. Like, if we're not showing up for ourselves, if we're not treating ourselves with. With kindness, with love, with prioritization. And yet on the other side, we're extremely expecting to call in this loving soulmate relationship or to hit this financial goal or to receive more joy in our lives.
[13:22.5]
Meanwhile. Because life is a reflection, right? Like, meanwhile, we're not knowing how to offer that to ourselves. I just Think that this is so important because we need to show the world how. How we want to be treated. So how do you then, what are some of the things that you then see, experience or your clients experience?
[13:42.6]
Or when they kind of turn the ship back around and realize that they're them, Loving themselves is the sacred priority that then opens up other doors for them in their life. Like talk. Talk us a little bit about the ripple effect. Then that happens. Yeah. Yeah. So there's a quote I love by a poet called Rupi Kaur.
[14:00.3]
She said, how you love yourself teaches other people to love you, how to love you. Okay. So that's where I start. I work with my clients, Amy, and I show them that every single person in your life, every relationship, every situation is just a mirror of your own relationship with yourself.
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And if we were to just start by looking at the world around you, your life experiences, how people treat you, you know, what you receive, what shows up for you in your life, right? That would tell you how you're doing on self love.
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And if things around you are not working for you, that is the biggest indication that there's something wrong in your relationship with yourself. And that's when my clients, you know, they're like, yeah, you're right. You know, this is how people, you know, for example, people don't, respect me, and then what does that say about how I respect myself?
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And they start to recognize that it's pretty much the same thing, right? So we start working internally on all of these different, you know, relationship aspects with our own self. And we strengthen self esteem, self worth, sense of value, self respect, all these different, I would say, core traits.
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And as people start to build that relationship with themselves up, they notice that people around them become kinder, become more respectful, become more loving. They start to attract opportunities at a higher vibration.
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They start to, manifest exactly like. They're like, oh, my God, Sanaya. I was thinking this and it came into my life, or, you know, I wanted this, and then, you know, someone offered it to me. So there starts to feel like there's more alignment in their life. And everything they're thinking and being and doing is kind of mirroring back to them in a positive way in their own, through their own life experiences.
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So obviously they feel encouraged. They feel like, wow, this is actually working for me. And that is how they. They commit to themselves even more. They go deeper into that, you know, relationship with themselves. They become more aware of their emotions.
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They become more aware of, you know, the choices that they're making and how that has consequences in their life and what that is bringing into their life. So it is really, the root of self love that I find brings more love into your life.
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Yeah, yeah. And love in all of its forms as well. Right. I mean, I just think it's so, so, so powerful. And everything else then becomes the merit. One thing that I've noticed, because I teach manifestation and I'll, work with clients, and when we look at the being on this path of expansion, say, you know, we're wanting to manifest abundance and, you know, align with our next level self.
[17:01.6]
I found that our relationships often come under the spotlight in a really big way. And I've seen, I've experienced this myself. I'm experiencing this with my clients, and they might be like, I'm coming to you to manifest more money in my life.
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And yet this is showing up in a really big way. So can we speak a little bit about that? Like, why do relationships become such powerful mirrors, And teachers who, when we are up leveling and what's actually happening on an energetic level during those seasons.
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So, Amy, one of the things I know you've heard this, we've all heard this is like attracts like, right? It's the law of attraction. So the people in our lives are not only mirrors, but they are reflections of where we are. And as we're leveling up, we are moving into a completely different version vibration.
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And that may often require you to let go of. Of the people who were around you, who were the reflection of the old self. So sometimes it is I need to let go of what was in my life to move forward.
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And sometimes it's, as I move forward, people naturally fall off and new people come in. Okay. So sometimes it's something you have to do intentionally, and sometimes it just happens very naturally. And in either, in either situation, there's a lesson in it for you.
[18:33.9]
Now, what I've noticed is that as you get to your own next level, people who are meant to help you, support you, and lift you further will show up in your life if you let them. So it's kind of like there is divine intervention, if we call it.
[18:53.2]
There is kind of some bigger plan that we can't see. And the universe is always throwing people into our life to help us kind of navigate those different transitions in our life. And most of the time, we resist and we struggle and we want to hold on to what was, you know, what was in our past, what we were before.
[19:13.7]
And a lot of that has to do with attachment, right? Because we're afraid. We're afraid of the uncertainty. We're afraid of what will happen if we let go. We're afraid we'll never find it again, or we're afraid we'll be alone. And so I see this happen a lot with my clients, especially those that are kind of stepping into their power more.
[19:32.2]
They are becoming more spiritually aware. They're tapping into their intuition. And a lot of them will move forward, but then start creating a lot of, like, you know, difficulties, a lot of blocks, a lot of struggles. Because at the, at the, the root of it, they're feeling scared.
[19:50.1]
They're terrified that they might move forward and leave their family behind, leave their loved ones behind, or they'll go too far ahead and they won't be able to connect with the people that they love. They won't be understood anymore. You know, and one of the things that I teach them, I work with them in my classes, is to remind them that as you move forward, the people you are truly connected to, okay, we can call them your soul family.
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We can call them your, you know, people that you are just connected to on a very deep level. They will come with you sooner or later. They will follow you into your next level. So you aren't going to lose people who you were never supposed to lose or never meant to lose.
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The people that, you know just because, you know, there's something. I. I read it was a forwarded email about how people come into your life for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime. And it was one of those, like, cheesy emails, but it had a lot of truth in it.
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There are people who are going to come into your life who are really there for a specific purpose, and once it's over, they'll move away. There are people who are going to be there for a phase of your life, and maybe they're there to support you through something. Maybe they are, are meant to teach you something. Maybe they, you know, you and them have to do something together.
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And then there are those people that will always be in your life. They're there for the lifetime. So as we move forward in our own lives, as we, you know, step into different aspects of our own self, the right people will come to support us or to walk with us.
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And I really believe that when we focus on that, when we believe in that, when we trust that, it becomes so much easier to kind of move forward. Yeah, I hit the visual. When you're talking, I get a Few visuals, but also it being like a stage production and you've got the different actors and you've got some that are maybe the main characters that are there for, like, the whole production of this.
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Of this life that we're incarnated in. And then you might have some that, you know, come in for a bit and they're playing this role and they're to help with that, and then they're moving back out and. And when you see from a higher vantage point, the divine orchestration within all of that. And I think this has helped me as well.
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A couple of things that you mentioned about, like, it's anything that is meant for you, like you can never really lose that which is truly meant for you and meant for your becoming. And also it's allowing those who are meant for the next installment, for the next act to come in right when you decide.
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And I think it's important. It's an important conversation to have because I know this comes up a lot in my work, and I think it does for you as well, is that it can feel lonely to begin with. And this takes me into another question around that, because I think when we begin to.
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I know I found in my life when I actually focused less on being chosen, less on being accepted, and more on being the person who. Like more on choosing myself really, and belonging to myself first.
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It was challenging to begin with and can feel lonely to begin with, but on the other side of that is a real liberation. It's like I finally came. Came home to what really matters. So we. Can we speak a little bit about that, that feeling of.
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Or the importance of belonging to ourselves first and choosing ourselves before looking at the ways in which we need to be chosen or we need to belong, which I think we focus so much on our society.
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Like, I want to belong into this group, so therefore I've got to play this role or I've got to hold myself back, or I've got to just show a part of myself to feel fit into that. Talk to me about the. The experience that people have when they come to work with you and they.
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They move through this shifting from more of that external approach to actually loving themselves enough to. To really choose themselves and understanding the importance of belonging to themselves. Yeah, yeah. And I. I completely relate to that question, Amy, because I spent my entire life trying to fit in, trying to belong, to trying to be all these things that I think I needed to be in order to be loved or accepted, or respected.
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And it was exhausting. It was absolutely exhausting. Right? It depleted me and there was a lot of insecurity, there was a lot of self doubt. And essentially I drove myself crazy trying to do that. And when I finally learned to stop doing that and start looking at myself and start choosing myself, and I noticed that all the things I wanted from everybody else came without any effort.
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So I go back to that quote. It's like how you love yourself teaches other people how to love you too. So choosing yourself is how you get chosen by other people. Loving yourself is how you're loved by other people. You know, respecting yourself is how you essentially invite respect from other people.
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So again, going back to the mirror, you, you know, it really is about, you know, knowing who you are, knowing what you want, being very intentional about your choices, which would only happen if you really, truly know you, who you are, truly know what you want.
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You know, that's when you can actually go out into the world and be in alignment with who you are, be authentic. Because you know, you, you know yourself, you know yourself better than anyone else. And one of the things that I see play out in my own life is with my children.
[25:39.2]
My children watch me choose myself and still be the loving parent that they need. And I know that as I show up that way in my own life, I'm teaching my children how to love themselves and how to choose myself. How to choose themselves, not myself, but how to choose themselves.
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And I see it, I see how confident they are, I see, I see how they prioritize their own needs. But they are still the most loving and kind children to people around them. So it was an experiment that I started with my own self and then I imparted to my own children.
[26:12.3]
I teach it to my clients and the results speak for themselves. You know, people are just so much more happier. They are no longer, you know, stuck in doubt. They are no longer stuck in second guessing themselves and feeling confused and feeling lost and anxious and all these things that come in when you abandon yourself and neglect yourself to choose everybody else.
[26:37.7]
So this is what I've experienced. It's also, I found on my journey, like being willing to be misunderstood, being willing for not, not everybody. And I think we've spoken about this before and maybe it was on the other interview, but not everybody is going to love you and see you and appreciate you and understand you.
[27:03.7]
So how do we start to reconcile that? And how important is it getting to that stage where we can recognize that it's okay, like you can unsubscribe at any time? I don't need to be your person. And I think that the really big thing is particularly in, like, family dynamics and extension, extended family relationships like this.
[27:22.7]
This being willing to be misunderstood, I think is just. It's really liberating, but also really, really challenging. Yeah, so this tends to happen in the beginning. Like when we are learning to choose ourselves. We have all these thoughts, like, what will they think of me?
[27:39.6]
Will they think I'm, I'm, selfish? You know, will they judge me? So in the beginning, as we're trying to navigate this whole new way of being, or all of these things come in, and you see it in your environment, like, it. Your fears are actually coming true because you're experiencing it around you, but that's also because you're not confident yet.
[28:01.4]
You haven't, like, crossed over completely. Because when you do com. You. You completely choose yourself, love yourself. You're in alignment with yourself. It doesn't matter what people say, how they judge you, you know, how they react or respond.
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You know, it's not about you. It's about them. Yeah, right. And so it kind of like all of that just falls away. But along the way, as you're trying to figure it out, all of these different challenges do come up. And I completely acknowledge that I've been that.
[28:32.2]
You know, I've been through that myself. My students talk about that. The key is to stay committed to yourself. Stay committed to what your goal is, which is to learn to love yourself, which is learn to learn to connect with yourself and really understand yourself.
[28:49.3]
And when that is clear, then, you know, even if people misunderstand you, even if they show up and, you know, they react, negatively to this new version of you, all right? Because you have yourself, you'll get through that.
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You'll get through that rocky beginning, and you'll get to a point where it feels really safe to choose yourself, to love yourself, to commit to yourself. And what I've seen is that people around you, they shift as you do.
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They shift along you. So it's kind of like, you know, it's. It's like waves as you are, as, you are shifting and moving. The ocean around you also kind of moves with you. And it. And suddenly you realize it's just one big ocean.
[29:40.3]
Yeah, we're just one big ocean. We're not disconnected. We're all connected beings. We're all responding to each other. And that discord that shows up is just transition. It's just the adjustment. It's just you teaching people how to love you. And in the Beginning, yes.
[29:57.0]
That little bit of, uncertainty, instability, insecurity will be there, but then it'll calm. It'll calm down, and it'll feel really comfortable to live in this way and being that for yourself until maybe you attract in those relationships where other people might be that for you, but being that fully for yourself in all of the ways.
[30:24.8]
And this reminds me also of, I love when Peter Crone talks about, like, how our relationships are revealed are often revealing to us where we're not free. You know, like everyone here. I found that's been really helpful for me when I have lost relationships.
[30:41.3]
So there has been things that come up is seeing that relationship or that person as a sacred teacher on my path, helping me to understand more about who I am. And I think that when we can look at it like that and not put ourselves so much in this place of victimhood, which we're very used to doing, thinking, why did they do that to me?
[31:01.5]
And understanding that, like, if I truly believe, as you say, that we're all connected and that life is here supporting my growth and evolution, that this isn't happening to me, it's happening through me. And for me, then I understand, and I start to see the divinity and the perfection in all of this.
[31:20.7]
And that essentially, as Ram Dass says, you know, like, we're all here walking each other home, but sometimes it's going to present as conflict and challenge rather than just, like, it's not all in the sunshine and rainbows. Like, it's, like it's gonna come up as. As friction.
[31:38.0]
But that's an opportunity for you to continue to choose yourself. So, so important, that friction, right, Amy, in that friction, I love you. That you said that in that friction is growth, right? In that conflict is growth. That's where you develop things that you need to develop to be who you want to be, who you're meant to be, or the person where, you know, the manifestations, that you want can come into your life because you have stepped into the version of you that is in alignment with that, right?
[32:10.9]
So we have to also constantly grow and level up, for the, The. The manifestations that we want to attract into our life. So, for example, I tell my clients all the time who are looking for love, I'm like, who do you need to be to have the kind of relationship that you want, right?
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Because where you are right now is attracting something very different. It's not what you want. So what do you need to shift? Where do you need to change or level up to be the woman that can have the exact type of love that you want in your life.
[32:47.2]
And a lot of it has to do with letting go of baggage. It has to do with letting go of past trauma and old relationship stories and narratives from your childhood. So I do a lot of work with, like, inner child, family dysfunctions, genetic kind of programming.
[33:05.9]
I do a lot of this kind of healing work. And I noticed that as people let go of these old stories, old programs and beliefs and negative emotions that they have buried over time, that they become lighter, they become more, I would say truer versions of who they are without all that negative pulling them back, you know, or causing them to respond or react in very negative ways in their life.
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So when they get rid of all of that, they can really be true to the. The highest version of themselves. And when they come into relationships with all of that, they attract that same kind of response, love, and energy from people around them.
[33:49.3]
And that's what causes their relationships to completely change, to transform into the kinds that they want, you know, and it could be in an existing relationship, it could be attracting an entirely new person into your life. And in most cases, it shows up in every relationship in your life.
[34:07.6]
With your parents, with loved ones, with friends, friends, with. Even at work, you know, when you start doing that kind of work, then everything mirrors, reflects out into your current experience. Yeah. Nothing is off limits. Right.
[34:23.8]
No relationship is off limits when you go on that journey. And I think that it's. It's such a, it's such a powerful reminder. And I love that you said that. It's like, let's turn back around and look at where am I needing to give that to myself, that which I'm so desperately seeking from someone outside of me.
[34:40.2]
And it's interesting when I work with. With clients and they might start to go like, well, I've got a, A list of all of these things that I want. Like, I know what I want in that love relationship. And then I'll ask, well, are you giving that to yourself right now? Like, where are you being that right now for you? And it's like, oh, like there's a dissonance here.
[34:57.0]
Like, well, I'm not. Right. Because I'm expecting, on some level, I'm expecting that I'm going to receive that from somebody else. Right. And I love that what you're talking about essentially is coming back into our magnetism when we can return to that place of wholeness and manifest from that place of wholeness.
[35:15.9]
We are not needing anything from outside of ourselves. We are just becoming our most magnetic self. And as you said earlier in the conversation, then like attracts like. So let's talk more about this conversation around manifesting love. The people that come and say, like, I want this soulmate relationship. I'm ready.
[35:33.3]
I want to draw in the soulmate. Where do we start? What are the things that you would be coaching your clients through, or looking at to begin with? And I understand there's that. That deeper piece around some of the inner child work and all of that, but what are some of the practices that we need to start to cultivate if we are wanting to truly attract in that. That love match?
[35:53.7]
Yeah. The first place I start, Amy, is a quiz. I give a lot of people a quiz, and a lot of people come into my world after this quiz. It's called the Love Blocks quiz. Because after working with over 5,000 women, I learned that there are about, like, five different types of blocks.
[36:10.1]
Of course, they're, like, pretty. Pretty big blocks, but they're pretty true for most people. They fall into one of these categories. And this tells me the story of what's going on in their life and why they keep getting stuck in their relationships.
[36:26.0]
So an example of a love block could be the people pleaser. You know, someone in childhood who learned that she needed to earn love, she needed to perform for love, and grows up into the type of woman who's constantly trying to please her partner, ends up becoming either a doormat or overlooked in the relationship, loses herself and someone else, and as a result, can never retain a relationship because they leave.
[36:56.9]
Okay? They leave when they no longer, like, value, you know, value her or need her. And so, you know, there are these profiles that I work with to help people see what they're creating in their own relationships. And then we go back and try to understand, when did this get created?
[37:15.9]
Is it because you had this kind of a family dynamic? You know, how was your relationship with your father or your mother? And I start basically unraveling the entire kind of story around love for my clients, and I help them to let go of what is not serving them, including past trauma and baggage.
[37:36.6]
You know, I go through past relationships that they, went through right from the beginning all the way to where they are today. We kind of do, like, an inventory of everything, and we understand, you know, what they were meant to learn, what they still need to learn and what they need to release.
[37:52.7]
And as we kind of. We kind of shed all these things that, are part of the Old story, the old version of them. They start to learn to love themselves for who they are. We do a lot of work on self love, self confidence, self esteem, you know, value worth, some of the things I've already talked about.
[38:15.1]
And then I get to get them to a level where now they're ready to manifest someone who is like the exact energetic equivalent of themselves. Because that's what we want. Right. We don't want to attract people that, are just mirroring our own past baggage, our own negative patterns.
[38:34.9]
So a lot of us, for example, will attract people that help. That essentially help us learn things that we need to learn, and that can cause a lot of pain and a lot. They can come through a lot of discord and conflict in our life. And at some point you're like, I'm done.
[38:51.7]
I don't want to go through any of this anymore. I don't want to repeat the same patterns. Let me just kind of, you know, release all of this, learn what I need to become this woman I'm meant to be, and then attract the love that I want. And that's when I see people being able to manifest exactly the kind of partner that they want, the exact type of relationship.
[39:12.7]
And I get people very clear on, like, a new relationship vision. You know, this is what I want, and I will not settle for less than that. Because I think the other issue for a lot of women is that they tend to settle for what they can get instead of waiting for what they want because they're not sure they're going to get it. Yeah. Right.
[39:31.7]
And so I help people build that confidence that, you know, they can get what they want. They have to believe in it, they have to do the work, and they have to be at an energetic level where they can attract someone, that is, you know, at that same kind of has the same ability to give them the love they want and to receive from them the love that they want to give. Yeah.
[39:57.7]
So it's a beautiful. Yeah, it's a beautiful inside. It's a beautiful inside job. I love it. I love this conversation so much, and it relates to. To so many of the different themes that we explore here on the Abundance Club. So it's absolutely beautiful, and I love your. Your energy and your approach to this.
[40:14.2]
So to wrap up, what do you wish every woman would know about love? Let's finish off there. And I would also love for you to then share how people can reach out and connect with you. Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much. So what I would like every woman to know to remember is that you are your number one priority.
[40:37.3]
You should be your number one fan, your number one cheerleader, you know, your loudest supporter. Because if you can do that for yourself, then you can be there for everyone else in your life. And it is possible, it is absolutely possible to love yourself and show up for the people that you love.
[40:57.6]
It's not a choice. You don't have to pick, you know, you don't have to be like, all about everybody else and then neglect yourself. You can actually do both, and you can do both better when you are present for yourself, when you choose yourself over and over again. And it is. It isn't something that happens again overnight.
[41:14.2]
It is a process. It's a journey. It's a. It's, a recommitment to yourself that you will have to make, you know, maybe every day, maybe you really have to choose yourself every day. You have to make that time for yourself every day. You have to love yourself every day. You have to show yourself.
[41:30.1]
But you would do that for someone you love anyways, right? If you're in a relationship with someone else, you would want to show them every day that you love them. So in the same way, you want to do that for yourself. So whatever you're seeking in someone else, give it to yourself first.
[41:45.1]
That is the most, most quickest, surest way, to experience that in your relationship with everybody else. Beautiful. Amen. What a beautiful way to close. Thank you so much. Pop into the show.
[42:00.4]
We'll pop into the show, notes, all of your details, but just quickly, what's the best way that people can reach out to you and experience your magic? Yes. So my website is sanaya girnama.com and I'm on all social channels at Sanaya Gernamal. I'm most active on Instagram and, I have a YouTube channel and of course, the podcast project Loving Myself on all, podcast platforms.
[42:22.7]
Beautiful. Thank you so much. This has been a delight. I love this conversation. What's not to love about love? So thank you so much. It's just been great. Thank you. Thank you, Amy.
